What I believe

I believe that people don't born crazy or with dual disorders.Like addiction, I believe that something happen in childhood. I don't look to my clients as criminals, I look at them as broken children with criminal thinking. Children that somehow their heart were broken by their first love - THEIR PARENTS
YES, our first love is our parents! they are the first ones we follow in love, we adore, we care, we want to be around. If that first love fails,the heart will be broken in a very young age. Even today I have a hard time when I have a broken heart, so can you imagine with 4 years old??? yeah that's right. during the years those lost children will search for that love, some of them will become sex love addicts, or going to use drugs, or even both. Run away of the topic, I had found out that even I can spend years and years looking everywhere, anyone for that love, I even can try, but the true is I will never will find out it! why? Simple, and let's face reality; nothing or no one can fill compensate that first love! No substance, or men can love me like a mother or a father, so therefor I have to face reality. that happen, and was a fact in my life.
the continue of that search will set me up to disappointment, because no one will substitute my parents. will feed my anger, and my self pity.
I wasn't crazy by doing this search, I just wasn't aware of what I was doing and the reason. the disappointment during the years made me depress, the drugs helped a lot that depression, because nothing fill the hole inside of me.
do you remember when you thought that if you change wife, job, place, country, drug , that would fix your problem??? do you remember you just felt disappointed, and frustrated, and didn't work out?
is not the same about looking for our parents love? yes, it is:)
see, in this process also becomes beautiful the learning of this, even if you are one of that children. The awareness of what really happen, and the understand of what happen with us allow us to move on, and set us free to make more wise choices in our life.
That is also the reason we love too much, or we resent too much, lol.
Someone yesterday told me that if I keep talking about the past that is a set up for me to remind all the things that didn't work. Is like unconscious having the need to remind it, and to keep in mind by feeding. I am the kind of the person that if I don't agree with you I will argue with you, until you get my point, but if you are right don't say nothing, and I even get more close to you to listen careful. Was what happen yesterday, I got quite because really made sense. now going back to the search for love.
I came to realized that lost children had become the ones who are unfaithful.
unfaithful had become something very crazy to do right? how come? why????
simple;
check this out

if a lost child doesn't face her past, what happen, and spends 20 years looking for her parents love, what do you think will happen? Addiction! vicious cycle.
That is exactly what happen.
You are aware that lost children they become bored in their relationships. the reason they become bored is because they don't have to look for love anymore, once they find it.
the beginning they will follow in love very deeply, almost suffocate, and the middle they will get bored, if they have a tranquilly relationship. they are vicious on search, and it's then they will break up, set up fights, or even become unfaithful.
Be unfaithful is all about seduction, and for them is away to keep looking over and over again.
today is 06/26/08 and I just realized this TODAY!
I believe the reason I had become aware of this today is exactly because yesterday someone told me if I keep looking at past will be there, and never will be enough the future. I will never be satisfied and value what I have, because isn't never enough.
we keep being the child forever, and what happen is, most of us refuse to have children, or even when we have we don't feel love.
Maybe this is also a reason the why addicts keep using drugs, and don't care about their children.
I have a client who went to the doctor, and while she was there she was balance her body back and forward while she she was sit on chair.
the doctor told she was MANIAC, because she was balance her body. The doctor gave her pills, and sent her back.
So now I have a client who thinks she is maniac, and the result of that is she will keep searching for love, and won't stop to be the lost child, and will not be the mother for her children.
Also now, I have a client who has more shame because was told she was maniac.
the client is not maniac.
do you remember when we were children we will balance our body while sit???
do you remember you did that while in school when we was in front of our teacher???
that was what the doctor didn't see... SHE DIDN'T SEE THE LOST CHILD TRYING TO GET THE DOCTOR APPROVAL, LIKE A LITTLE GOOD GIRL.
If I could, If I had the power, I would say : STOP calling them names! go to their childhood and you will find out all the reason why.
THINK WITH ME:


1 - FIRST LOVE = PARENTS

WHAT HAPPENED?

1- DRUGS / ALCOHOL

2 - WORKING TOO MUCH

3 - EXPECTING TOO MUCH

4 - HAVING A LOT OF RELATIONSHIPS

=

EMOTIONAL NOT AVAILABLE


- THE NO ACCEPTANCE OF THIS WILL TAKE YOU TO A PLACE:


LOVE ADDICTION


EXAMPLE:

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU FIND A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?

- BORED

WHEN YOU ARE BORED WHAT YOU DO?

- DRUGS

- FIGHT

- UNFAITHFUL / SEDUCTION VS SEX GAMES ( sometimes we get hard on this and give them hard consequences, and the only thing they are doing is searching for that love)

=

- KEEP LOOKING FOR LOVE BECAUSE HAD BECAME AN ADDICTION!



WHAT CAN YOU DO?

- FACE IT! YES, THAT HAPPEN, WAS REALLY!
FOR SOME REASON YOUR PARENTS DIDN'T LOVE YOU LIKE YOU SHOULD. FACE IT, GRIEF IT,LET IT GO, MOVE ON!

- ONCE YOU MOVE ON YOU WILL STOP TO BE THE LOST CHILD STILL WAITING FOR LOVE, AND YOU WILL BE EMOTIONAL AVAILABLE TO CREATE YOU OWN FAMILY.

And that is what they call FREEDOM......... free to move on :)