Major changes in my life

Major change in my life

So here I am going through change again. I am doing 2 new things at same time. Well, not new, because I already have done this before, but even like that is change and I still don’t react well to change.
I left the counseling field for a while. doesn’t work very well counseling in PT, or I just had a bad experience.
I went through a major grieve about counseling. See, I had this dream to become a counselor, and I did it.
I had become a counselor at Cornell and that experience made me rich as wisdom.
I didn’t like everything there, of course, but I had bases, discipline, and guidance.
every time I walked that door I knew it what to do and what had to be done. So that gave me balance as professional in this field. Deep inside of me I still regret that I left, and I keep looking for the reason why I am in Portugal.
When I saw that counseling here doesn’t work well, I went down, and I was very disappointed.
I looked for another job, but the major answer was “ sorry, you are going to disrupted the clinician staff, because you are too qualified”
Amazing huh…. All the training I had in Texas gave me more wisdom, and also didn’t give me a job in Portugal.
I hated where I worked as a counselor, so I had to make a hard decision; or I would keep going on that crap, and keep going against everything I learned or I would leave my dream, and say good bye for a while.
So I did it! I left this field, and I went back to my old job, old boss, and old colleagues.
I had become a sells person, something that I wasn’t doing for 5 years.
Its been complicate, I don’t sell like before.
My boss and my colleagues keep looking at me waiting for the big show…waiting for the old me to come back like I was before.
I have been there for less than 1 month, and didn’t happen yet. Its been hard to manipulate…I guess I had lost some of that manipulation.
I had to adapt again to train, and subway and the fast Lisbon. So many people!!! The first time I travel though train and subway, I got lost! Amazing…I didn’t remind how where to go, where was the places in Lisbon .
I felt like going crazy!
Then the other major thing is I fell in love, finally, I fell in love!
I am about to live with him, and I have doubts!
He has 43 years old, but he thinks that he has 20 years old.
I keep wondering how ready I am for that. I keep wondering what I am doing, and why and for what.
The things worked well until the day he lie to me. And u guys know, that you don’t want lie to me!!!!
I m scared that I may go live with an emotional vampire.
I am giving him the benefit of the doubt.
My sponsor is been talking to me, and she cares about me.
Even like that I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt.
So for now its just that.
I didn’t come to this blog for a while. This blog had a purpose and that is gone…..
I may find that purpose again