Anger

ANGER " QUICK VIEW"\


1. ANGER IS OK
2. ANGER TELLS US WHEN WE HAVE BEEN VIOLATED AND GIVES AN OPORTUNITY TO BE ASSERTIVE
3. GENERALLY PEOPLE WITH ANGER ARE VERY INTELIGENT BECAUSE THE ANGER MADE THEM THINK FAST , SO THE BRAIN IS EXERCICED
4. ANGER CAN TELL US :

a) WE FEEL
b) WE ARE LOOSING / GRIEVING SOMETHING OR SOMEONE
c) IS THE NON-ACCEPTANCE OF REALITY
d) ANGER IS A CONSEQUENCE OF A PRIMARY FEELING
EXMP:
I AM NOT WORKING,SO I DON'T HAVE MONEY AND IT'S SALES TIME SO MY PRIMARY FEELING IS FRUSTRATION AND MY SECOND FEELING IT'S ANGER
WE WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AND WE ARE WAITING FOR THE BUS, AND THE BUS IS LATE.
AFTER 5 MINUTES OF WAITING WE START TO BECOME ANXIOUS, AFTER 10 MINUTES WE ARE FEELING ANGER
e) ANGER TELLS US WE HAVE NOT BEEN RESPONSABLE FOR OUR FEELINGS

THE CONSEQUENCES OF ANGER IS WHEN WE EXPRESS IT IN A OPEN WAY TO OTHERS
BUT I SEE PEOPLE THAT I CAN TELL ARE ALWAYS OK, I DON'T SEE THEM WITH ANGER, ALWAYS HELPING OTHERS, ALWAYS SPEAKING IN A SPIRITUAL WAY, SO, JUST A FEW PEOPLE FEEL ANGER?
EH EH, NO!
WHEN YOU SEE THAT, DO SOMETHING: LOOK MORE CAREFULL :)
THAT IS WHAT I CALL DISHONESTY!
EVERYONE FEELS ANGER, IT'S HUMAN!
AND WHAT IS ALSO HUMAN IS WE LEARN HOW TO MOVE IN THE MIDDLE OF PEOPLE
EXMP:
YOU ARE IN PRISON, YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO MOVE IN THE MIDDLE OF PEOPLE... THE CONSEQUENCE OF THAT
ONCE OUTSIDE IF YOU ARE IN A MIDDLE OF ANOTHER GROUP YOU WILL DO THE SAME.... ACTING LIKE THEM.
LIKE IN PRISON WE HAVE TO BE PART OF A GROUP TO SURVIVE AND DO WHATEVER THEY DO, AND IT DOESN'T MATTER IF ITS WHAT YOU FEEL OR BELIEVE, BECAUSE THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS SURVIVAL, SO YOU LEARN TO BEHAVE IN A DISHONEST WAY.
ANOTHER EXAMPLE CAN BE IS IF SOMEONE GOES TO TREATMENT, ONCE THERE THEY LEARN WHY THEY ARE THERE, WHAT THEY EXPECT FROM YOU AND HOW THEY ARE EXPECTED TO BEHAVE.
IF THAT PERSON GOES BACK TO A SECOND TREATMENT IT WILL BE HARDER TO FIND THE HONESTY. WHY? SIMPLE . LIKE THE OTHER EXAMPLE THAT PERSON ALREADY LERANED HOW TO MOOVE IN THAT PLACE AND CAN BECOME GHOST
IN ANY SITUATION AND IN LIFE OR ANY GROUP EVERYONE IS EXPECTED TO DISPLAY A SPECIFIC BEHAIVOR.
BUT LET'S LOOK AT A PERSON IN RECOVERY.
SOMETIMES I WATCH PEOPLE AND I HEAR PEOPLE SAYING: " WHAT A GREAT SPEAKER!!!!!"
WOW, THEY KNOW EVERYTHING THAT IS WRITEN IN THE BASIC TEXT
WOW THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT STEP WORK
VIOLENT!!!!!!!! DONT YOU THINK?
WELL, MAYBE AT THIS POINT I GUESS YOU DONT OR MAYBE AT THIS POINT YOU ARE ALREADY MAD WITH ME:), BUT LET ME EXPLAIN IT:
SOME OF PEOPLE THEY ARE A VERY GOOD SPEAKERS
SOME ARE SHY, OR EVEN DON'T HAVE ANY COLLEGE, OR THEY ARE NEWCOMMERS
WHEN SOMEONE IS TELLING THAT IN FRONT OF SOMEONE WHO BELONGS TO THE SECOND GROUP IT CAN BE VIOLENT. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I AM TELLING THAT JUST ASK THEM " WHAT ARE YOU FEELING WHEN I SAY THAT"
I CAN TELL YOU THAT PEOPLE ARE FEELING LESS THAN....
I CAN TELL YOU THEY ARE FEELING FRUSTRATION, ONCE THEY REALIZE THEY ARE TOO SHY TO SPEAK OR THEY HAVE A HARD TIME TO READ AND PUT IN THEIR HANDS RIGHT AWAY WHAT IS IN THE BOOK, OR THEY ARE NEWCOMMERS AND BECAUSE OF THAT THEY DONT HAVE THE EXPERIENCE TO TELL ABOUT.
SOME ARE GOING TO BECOME A COPY AND PASTE
SOME ARE GOING TO SHARE ABOUT SOMETHING THEY DONT HAVE A CLUE ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT
SOME ARE GOING TO SAY THINGS THEY DONT FEEL
SOME ARE GOING TO BECOME WHAT THE OTHERES EXPECT, AND OF COURSE, THESE PEOPLE ARE HALF WAY TO RELAPSE
I THINK I AM LOOSING THE TOPIC, EH EH :)
FREEDOM = BE WHO YOU ARE, BE GENUINE, BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF, YOU WILL HAVE TIME TO CHANGE. LIFE AND YEARS IN RECOVERY AND YOUR AGE WILL CHANGE YOU.
WHAT YOU THINK NOW WILL BE DIFFERENT IN 5 YEARS.
WHAT YOU SEE IN YOURSELF NOW WILL BE DIFFERENT IN 1 YEAR
THE WAY YOU SEE LIFE NOW WILL BE DIFFERENT IN 5 Years
ANGER IS HUMAN, AND WHEN I SEE SOMEONE HIDING THE ANGER, THAT PERSON WILL EXPRESS THAT ANGER IN ANOTHER WAY.. A HIDDEN WAY, BECAUSE NO ONE CAN SEE IT, ONCE YOU SEE IT THE MASK ITS OVER AND THAT PERSON BECOMES VULNERABLE.
WHEN WE DON'T WANT TO BECOME VULNERABLE NORMALY ITS BECAUSE WE ARE AFRAID..
AFRAID OF WHAT???
AFRAID OF .... IF YOU KNOW ME YOU WONT LIKE ME
..... IF I BECOME VULNERABLE YOU WILL TAKE ADVANTEGE OF ME
SOME OF THESE WERE PEOPLE WHO WERE ALREADY ABUSED IN DIFFERENT WAYS.
AND ONCE AGAIN WE APPLY: I AM NOT RESPONSABLE ABOUT HOW YOU ACT AND WHAT YOU FEEL, I AM JUST RESPONSABLE FOR MY FEELINGS AND BEHAVIORS AND THE WAY I RECIEVE THE INFORMATION AND WHAT I DO WITH IT.
HOW TO HANDLE ANGER:
. BE HONEST
. CHECK THE REASONS
. CHANGE YOUR THOUGTHS TO POSITIVE THOUGTHS
. TALK ABOUT IT, IF NECESSARY TALK BOUT IT 10 TIMES A DAY, :)
IF YOU JUDGE SO SOMEONE IN A NEGATIVE WAY YOU ARE GOING TO FEEL ANGER.
WE FEEL WHAT WE THINK!
ANGER COMES FROM MY WILL, MY CONTROL = FEAR, FEAR
WE ALSO CAN USE ANGER TO MANIPULATE.. OOPS! HOW?
WHAT A CHILD DOES WHEN HE WANTS SOMETHING SO BADLY?
SCREAM, CRY UNTIL HE GET WHAT WANTS..................................................................................................................................................
SO, YOU ALREADY LEARNED THAT A LONGGGGGG TIME AGO, WHEN WE WAS CHILD.
SO, WHO A MANIPULATE WITH MY ANGER????
SIMPLE, THE ONES WE KNOW WONT REJECT US,, WE ARE CLEVER :) WE DONT TAKE A CHANGE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESNT KNOW US.
SOMEONE WHO DOESNT KNOW US WILL SAY: WHAT? I AM OUT OF HERE!
SOMEONE WHO LIKES US WILL SAY: OK, OK. WHAT DO U WANT,I LL GIVE YOU.
WE MANIPULATE WITH ANGER WHEN WE KNOW THAT PERSON DOESNT WANT TO LOOSE US
A CONSEQUENCE OF THAT ITS ANGER WITH OURSELFS, LOW SELF ESTIM, INSECURANCE, FEAR, RESSENTMENTS
ONCE WITH ANGER WE ARE BLIND!
WE CANT SEE THE TRUE AND WE CANT MAKE DECISSIONS.

HOW TO TALK ABOUT ANGER IN A POSSITIVE WAY?
START:
A- SITUATION = WHAT HAPPENED
B. BELIEFS = WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT
C. FEELINGS , ACTIONS = SHARE WITH OTHER HOW THAT MAKE YOU FEEL. TALK ABOUT YOU
AND NOW YOU ARE HALF WAY TO GO TO ACCEPTANCE
FIGHTHING THE ANGER:
ONCE YOU ARE BECOME WORRY ABOUT SOMETHING OR SOMEONE, GIVE RIGHT WAY PREMISSION TO YOURSELF TO LOOK TO YOUR INSIDE AND BE CONECT WITH YOUR FEELINGS, AFTER IDENTIFY, AFTER SHARE IT
EXEMPLE:
YOU ARE IN HOME, YOU DONT HAVE A CLUE ABOUT WHAT TO MAKE TO THE SOUPER.
ITS 5PM AND AT THIS TIME YOU JUST DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO EAT WITH YOUR FAMILY.
AFTER 5 MINUTS YOU STILL NOT MAKE A DECISION = WORRY
AFTER 10 MINUTS = ANXIOUS
AFTER 15 MINUTS = ANGER
AFTER WHEN YOUR FAMILLY ARIIVES WE YOU WILL EXPRESS THAT ANGER, SAYING FOR ISNTANT, I AM SO TIRED AND ITS ME ALWAYS WHO DOES EVCERYTHING IN THIS HOUSE WITHOUT ANY HELP.
ONCE THAT, THE EVENNING IST OVER, NOP ONE WILL ENJOY IT.
LIKE THAT YOU WASTED 15 MINUTS OF YOUR LIFE
HOW YOU CAN NOT WASTE 15 MINUTS OF YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE? SIMPLES :) CALL TO YOUR FAMMILY AND ASK THEM WHAT THAY WOULD LIKE TO HAVE TO SOUPER :) THEY WOULD TELL YOU AND THE PROBLEM WAS RESOLVED AND YOU HAVE THE SOLUTION :)
AFTER THAT WE CAN SPEND 15 MINUTS HAVING A LONG BATH TO RELAX OF A LONG DAY :)
AFTER WHEN YOUR FAMILLY ARIIVES WE YOU WILL EXPRESS WITH FEELINGS OF LOVE, LIKE : WHAT UP? LETS ROCK :) EH EH
ANOTHER THING YOU CAN LOOK ITS WHEN YOU JUST DONT LIKE SOMEONE, IF YOU FEED IT YOU WILL FEEL ANGER ALL THE TIME YOU SEE THAT PERSON.
BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETING ABOUT IT, THAT PERSON HAS SOMETHNG YOU DONT LIKE IN YOURSELF OR HAS SOMETHING YOU DIDNT FORGAVE YET ABOUT YOURSELF
HOW CAN YOU FIGHT IT?
HELP THAT PERSON , NOT BECAUSE THAT PERSON BUT TO HELP YOURSELF. WILL BE MORE EASY WORKING THAT WITH SOMEONE, EVEN WE DONT LIKE, THAN BY OURSELFS.
ANOTHER THING WHO CAN TEEL YOU WHAT YOU FEEL ITS WHEN YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITE TO BE IN A ROOM WITH SILENCE.
EXEMPLE:
WE SPEND OUR DAY WORKING, BUSY , AVOID FEELINGS, ONCE IN HOME WE ARE AGAIN BUSY DOING THINGS, AVOID FEELINGS, ONCE IN A MEETING ROOM, WE ARE SIT, NOTHING TO DO, ONCE IN SILENCE OUR FEELINGS WILL COME , SO, JUST HEAR IT, AND FOR SURE THE FEELINGS WILL COME WITH THOUGHTS, SHARE IT, EVEN IF ISNT THE TOPIC, BECAUSE THAT ITS BE RESPONSABLE FOR YOUR FEELINGS, BECAUSE REMEMBER, THAT CHAIR YOU ARE SIT IST YOURS, AND NO ONE CAN TAKE YOU OUT OF IT!
I THINK I AM DONE, GOING EAT NOW :)
I HOPE I CARRY SOME MESSAGE
IVONE V.