I am so broken…… I am in thousand peaces, not sure how I am going to recovery of this.
I stood with my mother for 1 week, cleaning the house with a Brasilian woman.
Since the first day my mother has been treat me like shit.
She doesn’t call my name…she calls me slut.
She stays awake until 3am messing with me, so I am not been sleep much in a week.
She goes outside acting crazy, and my friends have to come to meet me to bring her home.
Funny; I had one client in USA who was much like my mother. The client kept talking to herself all day long, and isolate from the rest of the clients.
The part she is like my mother is the isolation, anti socialization, and the anger…oh my God, the anger is just like the client I had!
Was here to young ladies….a psychologist, and a social assistant.
The question they asked to my mother didn’t make sense at all.
I kept watching them and thinking how ignorant they were, and how naïve.
They didn’t see what I saw everyday because they didn’t know how to touch the point.
My mother told them:
“ I married with a much younger guy than me. I was the most happy person in 4 years of marriage, BUT then that woman (me) born and was because of her my husband stopped to love me”
Mannnnnnnn…hummmmmmmmmmm
Think…..feel…..can you feel what I felt at that moment?
No you cant!
My neigbhors say that they don’t help my mother because they are afraid of her.
They keep telling me “ run child, run….”
I had t leave a birthday dinner because she was in the street with pijamas looking for her cat.
I cleaned all this house in order for her to live with dignity again, and she hates me for that.
Tomorrow I am going to live at the north of Portugal …I am moving again!
My heart is so divide, but if I stay here my mother will destroy me.
I am already with a emotional break down. I feel depress.
I am scare, but I gotta to go.
I have a ex husband much like my mother.
When I arrived to Portugal I called him and I told him what was going on with my mother.
I was confuse, in stress. I told him I didn’t know what to do, I dint know if I could come back.
The revengeful guy decided to tell my boss I wasn’t coming back.
He took advantage what I was going through to get sympathy and revenge.
My boss bought it, and didn’t have the sensibility to understand what I was going through.
Now let me ask this
You spend 3 years in another country. You talk with your mother everyday, and she is a normal conversation with you like before.
You think that everything is going as normal.
You arrive, and you found your mother living in the garbage.
What you would feel?
What you would think?
How you would react?
Would be all the NA, or counseling wisdom that would you prepare for that, and you would react following the wisdom?
I don’t think so!
When we are emotional connected to someone, everything changes.
The wisdom becomes shock!
Its easy to have a family that people can count with. The family gives love, gifts, dinners etc…
Let me tell you what is hard…..its hard to love a mother that hates you.
Its hard to help a mother under screams while calls you names, and tells you how much she hates you, and she will stab you while you sleeping…..BUT…..you keep going…you keep cleaning…….you cant stand the screams, the names, and the hate, BUT you keep clean!!!!!!!!!!
Above is the pics where I am going to live, the place and the house I am renting for 225 euros monthly- amazing price!!!
bellow this post is pics and videos that I have been taking in Lisbon
Now I hope God give me the same strength, and luck to my new life than I am about to start
