Lack of emotion is a relapse trigger

I have this client who is fascinating to work with her. She is also in high risk, because her life style. I see that will be possible for her to not using, but won’t be possible to give up of her life style, because her lack of emotion over that.
She is a natural manipulative. She isn’t aware of that because she was raise to be. I will explain later. I feel her eyes looking for me all the time. She tried to control me since day 1. I see her analyzing me all the time. She found out that her dreams were a way to get attention of staff, so she keeps bring new dreams everyday. I realized that something was wrong by the way she reports that dreams. I saw her thinking, and I realized that she was adding make up stuff in order to impress me and get my attention.
This is a case of a lost child who grows up fantasying about living other life’s, be someone else. Because her childhood was very violent, fantasy had become a defense mechanism.
Let me give you an example, lets think like she did:
“I am here in this living room, but now I am going to pretend I am a princess living in a castle, and everyone loves me”
This is exactly the fantasy I am talking about. They call these lost children, creative.
The first individual session I had with her she told that she would like to a counselor of celebrities. Saw was evident to me the fantasy. Celebrities are other dimension, other world.
So let me tell more about her history.
Her grandmother was a prostitute. Her grandmother made her daughter to be a prostitute, and the daughter (mother of my client) made her daughter prostitute.
So now I am going to explain where the natural manipulation without awareness comes.
Her mother dressed her, put make up on her, and made my client to look good in order to be easy to sell her. So my client was taught the art of manipulation. Her mother taught what to do with men, and how to seduce men. That’s why she isn’t aware of her natural manipulation because she was taught. Normal mother teach their children that isn’t good to lie, to manipulate. Some of them punish their children when they manipulate through cry to manipulate. In the case of my client she was taught those things were OK.
When I spoke with her about prostitution, and possible sex addiction she told me that she was OK with that, because she is being doing that for so long.
I saw lack of emotion, and I asked her what she felt every time she was doing that there. She answer that her mind goes to another place and because of that she doesn’t feel the shame.
So, here we go again to the fantasy. This proof that when she is having sex she starts to fantasize that she is in other place.
This lack of awareness, and emotion made me see that this client is going back to prostitution. This proofs again that 98% of the clients goes beyond addiction. I believe this field is very focus on the secondary problem - drug addiction, and that’s why this field has so many relapses.
This field is dedicated to teach about drug addiction, and most of them forgot to search for the real problem. The key of a possible success is just one. Is asking: WHAT HAPPEN? Let me find out what happen to you, and how can help you and set you free.
So here I have a client who is going to discharge next month, and ready to become a prostitute. Second question: WHAT CAN I DO?
Today I look at her and I asked her: what can I do to make you feel what you need to feel. What can I do to break that lack of emotion.
She asked: what do you mean? What do you want to do with me?
My answer was: I want to make you to not go back to the streets anymore. I want to find a way to make you feel that isn’t OK, like you said before.
She kept saying that is all that she knows and her grandmother was a prostitute, and her mother was a prostitute.
See, let me explain this:
The owners of wall - mart had sons, who continue with wall-mart job. Those sons had sons who are going to continue that work. So becomes normal the passage from grandparents to sons, and sons to they sons. Like my client had become a normal cycle. GGrandmother, daughter, granddaughter.
My mind went back to my treatment, and I remind a group that I will never forget.
Was a women group, and we were talking about prostitution, like if that was to go to the supermarket and buy soap. Normal thing, like of emotion. The counselor got fed up with our conversation and they asked: “so, tell me, how those men approached you?”
Was like a knife in our backs. Silence in the room.
The counselor asked again: come on tell me how they approach you? What they say?
The group ends up in tears because was broken the lack of emotion. She made us to remind the approach: how much it is? What you do for 10 dollars, etc…
You understand what I mean for approach.
I look to my client and I said: I know how I am going to set you free.
You are going to make a list of everything your mother asked you to, and everything those men ask you to do.
She got so mad. She started to cry saying that she wasn’t doing that.
She said: I don’t want to feel nasty. I don’t want you to look at me as a nasty person. I can’t write what they asked me because is very nasty. Just to talk about that like I am now I started to feel the taste in my mouth, all the nasty tastes.”
She started to cry, and scream. A scream cry.
The pain was so big, so big. All the stuff she is avoiding started to come out.
I realized that is exactly what needs to happen to that client.
Make her go back, remind, and write is going to take her to shame, disgusting.
Is going to take her to rage, and maybe to take a lot of showers because she is going to start to feel very dirty.
These feelings may appear to you as cruel feelings, but is this feeling that she will remind, and will save her life.
we cannot forget that what makes us different of serial killers is we have emotions, and they have a lack of emotional.
SERIAL means, doing the same in serie, over and over again.
I know that this is a little bit of psychodrama, but that’s why I want to work in this with my mentor.
I believe if we meet with her in order for her to process this work, we both can hold her, and rebuild her.
I know what I am doing, and I know exactly where I want to take her in order to set up free, but I need my mentor help.
I believe that together we are going to do something amazing with this woman.
here some of videos whom explains my client

perfect by nature
icons of self indulgence
just what we all need
more lies about a world that

never was and never will be
have you no shame don't you see me
you know you've got everybody fooled

look here she comes now
bow down and stare in wonder
oh how we love you
no flaws when you're pretending
but now i know she
without the mask where will you hide
can't find yourself lost in your lie

i know the truth now
i know who you are
and i don't love you anymore

it never was and never will be
you don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

how can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where I’ve become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

now that I know what I’m without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life

frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead

all this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
without a thought without a voice without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

(Bring me to life)
I’ve been living a lie, there’s nothing inside
(Bring me to life)