What do you think is going to happen if you successes in treatment?

Today the topic of the group was handling fear of successes.
After they read was there a question: What do you think is going to happen if you successes in treatment?
I asked them to answer that individual. The answers were:
- I will be me again
- I will be happy
Most of them said they were being happy.
I told them: you are lien to yourself. They look at me very admired, and some of them looked at me like if I was a weird. I told them to that I was going to explain and make a point.
So I started with one of the clients. I asked her: lets suppose is Friday night and you are home, at your window. Then you see your old friends passing over your house in their cars, and you know exactly where they are going. You know exactly that they are going to that club that you like so much. What do you think you are going to feel at that moment? Do you think you are going to start to jump and scream very happy that is good to be in recovery????
Her answer was: NO! I will be mad, BECAUSE I CAN’T GO WITH THEM.
I asked to other client: you were selling drugs, right? So lets suppose you go to a shopping center, and you see a lot of stuff that you would like to have right then. Because you have now to wait for you pay check so you are not going you be able to buy it. What do you think you are going to think and feel??? Are you going to be happy at that exactly moment? Are you going to feel grateful?
Her answer was: NO! I am going to think that if I was selling drugs I wouldn’t have problem with that. I would be mad!
I asked to other client: you was talking this morning that you was thief, and you stole a jacket from a store. So now let’s suppose that you go to a store and you See this amazing beautiful jacket, but because you are in recovery you cannot steal it. What do you think you are going to feel? Are you going to be happy?
Her answer was: NO! I will be mad, and I will start to think that if was in my old times I knew exactly how to get that jacket without paying for.
Then I asked to everyone a simple question:
Did already happen to you that you are paying for something and the woman who is giving you your change back, a makes a mistake and gives you more money that she shouldn’t? In that moment do you negotiate if you should be honest about it and tell her that she made a mistake and she is giving more money that she shouldn’t?
The general answers were: yes. I will negotiate. Yes I will be between giving her money back or not.
One of them said: I wouldn’t. Already happen to me and I gave her the money right way.
My answer to her was: and that happen because you are codependent!
She looks at me very surprise. I explained to her. I told her: follow me; what is the difference between when you stole the jacket from the hanger, and when the woman gave more money? Let me explain: when you are stealing something from a hanger you don’t see a face. You know that jacket belong to Wall-Mart but you don’t know the owners, so you are stealing to an institution. That means you don’t get emotional, because you don’t see their faces, no feelings. When that woman gave more money you were watching her face, so you had become emotional, and because you are codependent you had right way the need to rescue her for her mistake. Here mam, this money belongs to you.
Yep, makes sense.
So the conclusion of the group was: are you really to be happy when you are not going to be able to be with your old friends, not be able to go to old places, be happy for waiting for you pay check, be happy for paying bills, be happy because you cannot steal, or play with others feelings?????
Of course NOT! Is going to be hard, and you will be attack by your criminal thinking.
That will bring pain because that means GRIEVE = LOST.
Is what step 1 is about, GRIEVE AND LOST?
But now let me tell you something; you think that not using drugs is what is going to give you self-esteem. Wrong!
Clean is not the same as recovery. What is going to bring self esteem is exactly what we are talking about in this group. Is that you know you could but you keep it really and you wont.
Is not matter how hard it is for you to not go with your friends, to not steal, not to go to old places; you keep choosing to go through that pain in order to grow. Self esteem is when you win this fight between criminal think / offender behavior and healthy behavior, no matter how hard that is going to be.
If you do that one day you will be able to look back and see how far you went in your recovery and how you win those little internal fights between sanity and insanity. So the point is clients need to keep it really, and be aware that the beginning of recovery is not just roses. They need to be aware that for in order to be in recovery they have to loose something in order to get others. They need to be aware that can be hard. Like this they will that is just a process and will take awhile. False expectations is one of the biggest relapse triggers. Be aware is to be conscience of what is around you, and once you are aware you can make choices, and be out of confusion, and fear.
That's all folks for now