LOL, oops....
Today I was talking with some of the clients and came to my mind my behavior in treatment,lol.
So let's start from the beginning.
how I showed up there:
I showed up there very arrogant, telling them what they should be doing
sex games???? I was the best.. Got 3 BC. 2 of them in primary treatment, 1 at halfway house
deviation??? yep, twice. Told counselor that I was going to dentist, went to meet a guy who was in primary with me.. just had a coffee with him, lol.
second time, went to the movies with my ex boyfriend at that time during my weekend pass.
threat of violence??? yep, more than I can remember...mostly when I was confronted, lol
did I abscond???? yes I did. I was almost done with treatment ( 2 weeks missing), when I had my last and huge fight with the men who were with me in treatment.
I remember at that morning they came to wake me up and I said: Fuck off.:(
I waited for my counselor, and I had my suite cases at the door, and I told him: I am leaving.
he said: wait a minute, let's talk about it, just give me a minute. I didn't, I took off.
I still have a resentment with that, because I was alone with 20 men, and they knew it they were making my life miserable, since day 1. Was my 5th month and they didn't anything about it. The night monitor kept telling them, what was going on beetween me and them, but their answer was: if you can handle live with 20 men here, you will be able to handle with any kind of men outside.
well, that didn't make an expert, like I believe that it would, lol.
I hated them so muchhhhhhh.
My duties was all the time cooking. I got into a fight because of that. Their answer was that I was the only one who knew how to cook.
I stole a lot of cigarettes to them, lol.... was caught!lol
I confronted them in front of their counselors just to make them look bad, when they was looking so good, lol... I was mean!!! :)
I still hold that resentment, because I still wonder if I had become more successfully than them, lol
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