I will explain about this relapse prevention that happen Saturday, but before of that follow my thinking.
I had this client, who had become my client in her last month.
This client came from other unit, and in the middle of the process she had 3 counselors.
Client likes to avoid feelings, and avoid change, so when they change counselor becomes easier to avoid feelings and change. Not by porosity, but because they have to go through the process of trust again, so is like a restart for them.
Let me explain, when the client meets the counselor the client is suspicious, and disconnected with that counselor, so the client will tell a little, will open up a little, or in wont. With the time client start to trust counselor, and start to open more, and allow that counselor to work on them. When they change counselors they go back to the beginning. The client stops to move on, and goes back. Because they are suspicious by nature they will spend their time analyzing and comparing the difference between the old counselor and the new counselor, in the order to decide if they will allow the new counselor to be their counselor. Of course they are not telling them “I don’t want you”, they will just refuse to follow directives, and they will be on their own.
I don’t want to seam arrogant of, or stupid, or even make myself better than others, please don’t get me wrong, I am just trying to explain what I learn recently.
I changed unit so I had to leave my clients. I started see them in scrubs a lot, and I started wondering why they were so many times in scrubs.
My mentor taught me to think outside of the box. He told me when a unit isn’t going good is because the counselors are not doing what they suppose need to be doing.
I still remember a thought I had while I was in cantine: well, well, you have been doing whatever you want and now you keep being in scrubs. You know with me you wouldn’t have time to be in scrubs because I would figure out your plan before you put it on action” so that means that Some of them even refuse to go back, and they decided to not trust the new counselor.
So are there these 5 clients who refused. One of them asked to the supervisor to have me as a counselor. Other one had 21 help notes, and she is about to have her first adm. hearing. The other one is on her way. The other one who already left said “no mam, I am going to do like my other counselor told me to do”
When she came to say goodbye to me she said: she never knew what to do with me”
The last one I hear her saying to her peers in haunted house: she doesn’t have an individual session with me because she told I was healthy”
I look at her and I thought: you are not healthy!!! You are a Pathological Liar
This one had become in trouble Saturday for bowering and leading, and lies.
Her process have been being in other bed with one of her sisters. She sells cigarettes, and all king of stuff, and she already had an adm. Hearing.
Now ,
Did I have this problem with her clients, when they became my clients?
Yes, I had!
They would come to indv. Session very suspicious and they wouldn’t tell me shit. Others would come very happy, saying that they felt fortunate because people say that I am one of the best counselors there. So what I did to the ones who were suspicious, and went back on her recovery? I didn’t give up! I knew it I couldn’t work directly with them, because they were close mind, so I start to work on others, and let them watch how others would react to my understand of them.
This was the key, since they were in the comparator state. THey start to see others changed because I said something to them, and they started to hear “you have a good counselor” that made them wanted me, and wanted what they saw in others to their selves. They came close to me. They started for showing me all the pictures of their family, and suddenly they were telling the history of their life’s looking for answers.
I have this two clients who said: I am just sorry you wants my counselor since the beginning because if you was I know I would find out more stuff in me to be aware and change.
Now let’s go back to that client that I mention in the beginning.
Client told me before 3 days of discharge from treatment that she was going back to her ex.
What????????
You are going to use!!!!!!!!!!
So here I was with day to work on her, because she will be discharge when I am off, so I just had 1 day / Saturday!
Should I let go? NO. What can I do???
I told the status team to leave me alone because I need to think, and I could be interrupted.
What can I do? What I can do to prevent a relapse?
I made group based on relapse prevention
The title was: why I sabotage? Why I go back and use? Why I never finish what I say I am going to? Why I ran on job search? Why I abscond?
Fear of successes??? Why????
I explain to the clients that once they finish something IS OVER! DONE! And that will make us feel LOST/ ABANDONMENT
They will go back to that primary feeling that they had with their parents.
50% were abandoned physically; the other 50% were abandonment emotionally.
They are not stupid, or morons, or ignorant. They just don’t want to feel the abandonment again. The only way to not feel abandonment again is to give up before they finish because that will allowed them to RESTART again. Over and over again. That’s one of the many reasons that they keep coming back.
How many clients already told you that they relapsed because they were bored????? A lot, right!
Once its finish, once it’s done, they feel abandonment, so they will don’t have that internal fight, and the conclusion is they will get bored!
So after the group, she opens a door to me. I sat her in the middle of the circle and I told her to tell her ex what she felt with him. I told her to start:
“You need to apologize to me for…”
Then one of her sisters sat in front of her and she pretended that she was her ex.
Was crazy!!!! For moments I thought: shit, maybe I shouldn’t be doing this, lol
They started to fight, and the client started to scream at her ( the one who pretending that was her ex), and cussing her out, standing up on her face, telling she would bit up her, leaving the group slamming doors, coming back to fight more. The one who was been her ex, I told her to tell her:
Go, go, go use, is what you do best. Go ran, keep ran like you always do.
The client looked at her and said: No fuker, I won’t go back and use!
She stand up and she went where was the mail to be send, and she trash a letter that she had to send him.
At the need she told: I was going to use, and you just saved my life! I don’t want to use anymore. I would call you if I have a desire to use.
She started to cry saying tank you tome, I wasn’t expecting and I felt my eyes with tears.
I was grateful because I was able to make the difference in her life for 5 minutes.
Now something for fun..guess this:
It is a story about a girl.
While at the funeral of her own mother, she met this guy whom she did not know.
She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be, that she fell in love with him there and then...
A few days later the girl killed her own sister.
Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?
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