So I have this new client, that to be honest I am avoiding just for this week, lol, just giving her a hard time.
She is coming from NA and she believes that she knows everything, and has everything together.
Very, very angry client! I realized that she was the kind of client that will challenge me until the end.
She keeps looking at me trying to analyzing me. Trying to control me. Like any other client she has a very low self esteem. She tries to be funny, and she isn’t. I have this desire to tell her she isn’t funny, she shouldn’t even try to be.
Last Saturday I was explaining NA step 4, and of course she started to challenge me. she said:
I had a spiritual awakness!
I asked her: define spirituality.
She couldn’t!
I explained to her that spirituality comes from “what becomes more important in her life”
If she makes her car her spirituality focus (more important) then she will get disappointed, because one of this days the car will broke.
If she turns a woman (she is lesbian) she will be disappointed because the other person is a human being, and fails. But if she turns her recovery on her spirituality focus then she will be ok, and in peace.
Anyway she started to get all upset and cry, and I just let go with her little fit.
Now the Mexican client. Like my mentor said: she is a treatment smarter, and very dishonest.
I single her out, on that Saturday just to see her reaction. I said:
So, let’s start this group, and you can be the first one.
She looked at me trying to figure out if I was talking to her. She said: Me?
I said: yes, you.
I don’t want to talk! I don’t have anything to talk about.
I let it go. I just wanted her to know that she got my attention, and that means she will be watch.
So yesterday I came to work, and once I walk at the door I saw her with one of my new clients. I had this bad feeling, like a punch on my head.
After 1 hour I told to that my client that she was going to have an individual session with me.
The first question that I asked her was: are you a leader or a follower?
She said: I am a follower.
I knew it!
I had that feeling when I walked into the door.
At the end I told her that she was forbidden to be with the new clients like her. She was just allowed to be with the helders.
At that time I was following my heart, my feeling. I didn’t know that I was completed right.
So, afternoon came, and here it comes… I was right!
One of the helders came to see staff to report that the Mexican client was asking my client to run with her – to abscond.
We called them to the office, and I asked to the Mexican lady:
So, you are trying to run with my client….
No no Miss, I promise.
If you want to run you can go, because I am not going after you.
Then other staff spoke with them.
I looked at her, and I could see a very dishonest, rebel person.
Personal, I stay away from these clients, but as a counselor I decided to give her a shot.
So today she kept looking at me, and I asked if she was Ok. She stood up, with a big smile in her face, and come right way in my direction just to say she was ok, and she would like to speak with me, and she didn’t know why she didn’t spoke before.
I told her that was because her culture. She doesn’t trust but when she does, she really does.
I saw that was manipulation, all that smiles. She is just afraid that I will figure her out, and figures out what she doesn’t want me to know.
So I decided to play a game with her. I decided to ask her for help!!!!!
I told her: hey do me a favor. Make sure that all the clients are doing what they suppose to do.
I fed her ego, and her need of acceptance.
So let’s see if I take her where I want too, witch is to tell me everything about her.
Now the dream interpretation client.
She was suppose to go on ID run, (the clients go outside to get a new ID).
I notice that she wasn’t in group this morning, but I didn’t look for her. I let her buried herself. She is about to leave, so she needs to make her won good decisions.
10am, they called for the clients who go on ID run.
She wasn’t in group since 6.30am. then here she comes all make up ( make up is against the rules and regulations)
I asked he where she was all morning, and she said she was in her room cleaning.
Lie!
I asked her if she forgot was against the rules make up.
She said she dint forget, she wanted to be pretty for her picture.
The supervivor,a nd me just told her: you are not going anywhere. You are not ready!
She started to dialogue, argument, and challenging me.
Yes mam I will do whatever you want me to do. Yes mam I will take off the make up like you want me to do.
Then at the group she starts: well, I put make up on, and I was wrong, whatever…
They didn’t let me go, whatever…
She kept using “ whatever”
THEN, she says: I think this was a signal for God, exactly like says in the bible, I had to get this signal to be humble.
I just said: stop, stop. You are been dishonest. So first you say whatever, whatever, and then was a signal from God. I don’t buy it, they can, but I don’t. you do not manipulate me.
She got angry, screaming. Came to talk with me.
I am mad. Explain me what I did.
My answer was: you are not ready to talk with me. come to talk with me when you decided to be honest. Until then this conversation is over.
Now leave.
She went outside and screamed.
When she came back she made a mistake.
She asked something that would allow me to see if she is going to successed or not.
She asked:
That means I am going to get an extension?
I look at her and I thought “ here is the answer, you are going to go back and use”
I just answer: NO. you are not going to get an extension, because isn’t not that who is going to decide if you are going to go back and use or not.
That’s all for today
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