they will keep comming back

How rejection affects recovery and why

OK, so we have a client that relapsed “again”.

Relapse isn't a sign of weakness, or a failure, or even because people are not in recovery.

Relapse happens, is a fact!

How much longer we are going to expel people whom relapse?

How much longer that we counselors are going to reject those folks?

Isn't our job to understand why they relapse?

Isn't our job to search, and investigate the reason that clients sabotage their recovery?

How much longer we are going to let them keep coming back with the same problem?

Isn't our job, to explain and do relapse prevention?

So let me go back to the client and you may understand what i am talking about.

This client was abandoned and adopted by other family. That means this client grew up with the feeling that he doesn't belong ; the need of family ; the feeling of inadequate ; the feeling of rejection.

So what do you think this client will become?

Just a drug addict?

Just an alcoholic?

Just a criminal?

Just someone who isn't ready for recovery?

Just someone who doest want to be in recovery?

Just someone who still wants to use?

NO!

he is just someone like others that doesn't understand why he wants recovery, but at the end relapses.

Lets see what means institutionalized

means there is someone who is trying to make of the treatment centers their home.

Is making of their peers their brothers and sisters.

Is making of staff their parents.

The world outside seams to big to the addict.

He will have to experience feelings of inadequacy; feelings of want a family and not have one.

See, we are talking about clients that don't have the wisdom to figure this out for themselves.

Probably this addicts will never leave treatment centers. Is their family1

so now you ask me: “ but explain why they relapse if they know they will expel from this treatment center?????!!!!”

OK, they will from THIS ONE, But, unconscious they know they will end up in another one soon.

They keep the game....belong and be rejected

the counselors keep up with their game – accept them until they do good and then reject them

see, when the counselors are thinking they are doing good when expel someone that relapses, they are just playing the game – the vicious cycle.

Is there impossible to talk with that client and try to figure out why this keep happening?




If you have a client that was abandoned emotional of physical by their parents ( may be 99% of them), pay attention!

See if that client isnt making you their mother or father.

How to help them?

Easy, talk with them. Dont expell them.

Try to understand with them the reason of that relapse, and what was a motivation.

You are going to be amazing when you find out that the motivation was just one – keep comming back to treatment.

See, treatment had become the bally of their mothers. A place that they feel confortable.

You need to this but at same time you need to reject the client while in treatment.

Huh????????? you ask, lol

huh????? is she crazy?????

No, I am not!

I said “ dont expell them”

But, reject them slowly....ignore them for a few days. Let them feel rejection in order to gain skills and defense mechanisms to deal with that.

Cut the cordao umbilical, but dont stop to watch them close.

Make them self suficient, and teach them that is possible to survive to rejction.~teach them that treatment isnt to stay or keep comming back.

Make them understand that you are not their parents and no one will be.

They cannot substitute, or compensate.

They were abandoned, THAT IS A FACT; cant change the past, but they can understand what happened to them, how that affects them today, and how they can deal with that in the future.

Done :)