The depress client

The depress client
When I arrive I noticed a client that was always in his room sleeping.
He barely was coming to the groups and was always with his head down very depress.
I looked at him and I could see the self pity taking control of him.
I confronted him in the first day, and I could see that made the things worse, and I could see hate in his face.
Like I said before he was spending 24 hours in his room and he just was showing up to smoke.
I realized that confront wasn’t the best way to deal with that client.
That client had surrendered himself to self pity and depression.
I started to hear that he didn’t eat at all.
Then came the day that we had to divide the clients, and I was going to have a caseload.
I asked for him in my caseload…well, lol, I had the opportunity to choose all my clients, and I got all I wanted.
I told him that he was my client, and he didn’t like it.
I asked him to come to see me and have an individual session and he refused.
As egocentric I could have the choice to take that personal, and rebellious against him…..
As a counselor trained by mentor I have another choice, and I follow it…..
I decided to leave him alone, and wait until he was ready to talk to me.
Like before in USA, I do the same here….I am not a office counselor!
I am a counselor who is always around the clients, sitting with them, talking banal stuff.
I am very intelligent, and that is very attractive to people, but I have other thing that is also very important and attractive - I am funny! J
But let me go first to the first steps before the funny part.
I decided to gain the trust of that person…..
One morning I walked into his room and I brought him a bread with sweet of orange.
He looked at me very surprise!!!!!
How come I was bringing him food!!!!!
My intention was to show him that I cared about him.
Then I started to ask him if everything was OK.
Never asked him to come to groups, or individual session, or do treatment work.
Then he started to come around, leaving his room, and I notice that he was laughing hard with my funny things.
A week passed….. And one day we was outside and he looked at me and he said “ you are my counselor, right?”
I said “ yes I am”
Ok, so I am HIV positive, and my life was like this…….”
Yeahhhhh, was beautiful!!!! Lol
I gained his trust
Last weekend he passed the weekend in my office listening music, and around me.
I went to pick him up today to take him to a tattoo place and he asked me to choose a tattoo for him.
Well, the result of this, is that since last week we see in him a different person.
We see that he isn’t in his room anymore like before, and he is always laughing and asking for help.
He started the step 1, and he told me today that he is taking his take to the step 1, and take it serious.
He also told me that step 1 is making him realize a lot of stuff, and he is feeling well.
He is also helping other clients from my caseload to do step 1.
What is the message in here?
Simple…don’t take personal if a client refuses your help
Give them time to feel secure to come over you.
Trust in your skills, and wait
How many time we say that this program is about attraction and not promotion?
Let them study you
Let them to feel attraction for your skills, and come to you to get what you have to teach them
that’s all
The clients like that we spend time with them. They need acceptance!
I take the break fast, lunch, snack time, dinner on the table with them.
In the other day I was late to have dinner and one came to take me and said “ ivone, your dinner is on the table is going to be cold, come” J
So cute!