Rape

Rape
We have this new client on the unit who came from the other unit. This client was a cheerleader, and she is very expressive and vain. The way she walks and talks is very sexual, and vain. Today in the group she shared that she was raped 5 times.
5 times?????!!!!!
She got my attention! 5 times????
Hum, 5 times, really, lets see what happen.
She started to sharing saying “ I was a victim “
Please don’t get me wrong on this, and yes she was a victim, but lets see the behavior.
I asked her to tell me what happen in those 5 times. I found out those 5 times was always at parties. So I started to picture the image of that client in a party. How she acted.
In my mind I saw her wearing very provocative sexy clothes, and dancing in a very sexual way. I picture that in my mind because is like that she moves in treatment. But I asked her how she acted in those parties. She told me exactly what I thought.
Now this is what I told her:
“ look, you go to a party that you don’t know half of the people. You go very sexy, to make sure that you are going to be in spotlight. You get high and you start to dance in a very sexual way, teasing them. Guys will be guys, but the dangerous is that you just need one, just one of those guys who is there and hates his mother, or was bad treat by his mother to rape you. For him you become his mother - the woman he hates; you just need that one of this guys will be at that party ready to proof that they have the control over you by raping you. I am telling this in order you start to protect yourself.
Next time you go to a party make sure you watch people, before you start to dance. See if is safe, and protect yourself. don’t go and tease because is dangerous. If you do that make sure you always be ahead of them, not them ahead of you. When you go and you put yourself out there like you do, you are taking an unnecessary risk.”
She then she told me that her life story was 35 pages, and she had the need to put out there and get relieve.
My answer was:
“ 35 pages or 100 pages doesn’t tell me anything. What I want to know is, did you write 35 pages just to get immediate relieve and get approval, or did you write 35 pages in order to do something different with your life?”
That is the point! I am writing this for what? What I really want from here?
See that is always the question I make when clients come with, 30, 50, 100 page sof life story.
No, no, doesn’t impress me.
\in other day I told a client: maybe should let you read my life stor and lets see who has the worse life story.
The point here is, if you had a past with drugs your life wasn’t very good at that time, and that is a fact! But what is your real intension? What is your motivation behind that?
Just to think about.
Well I guess I am writing 2 topics in here, but let me go back to the first one. The conclusion of the first one is simple - respect yourself in order to gain respect.
You act sexual, you will get sex
You act respectful, you will get respect.
Wow I cant believe I am talking like that, lol
Jesus, maybe I learn something. Finally!