Secrets

Secrets with the clients.....
I never have secrets with the clients. I believe that clients have to share those secrets with their peers, in order to build trust.
Also, I don't want to have that kind of relationship with clients, where I keep their secrets. I think isn't healthy.
My experience tells me that most counselors like to have secrets with the clients.
For some reason that brings them power, and feeds their ego.
Is like “ ohhhh, he/she told me. I must a very good counselor”
this is a mistake!
You may want to motivate the client to share that secret with someone else.
Now let me tell you something that never happen to me before.
I had a client who came to me and told me a secret. I advice him to go tell it to another client.
The other client got panic when the other client told him the secret.
They came to me in the morning and he was very upset “ why you chooses me to be told his secret? Why me? “
he was really in panic.
I told him “ well, do not focus on the event. Focus on the betrayed of the people that you must trusted just need to identify with the feeling of betrayed. That is it!”
the guy said OK, and left.
The other guy whom told the secret was confuse, and waa weird the fact that he shared and asked for help and th peer reacted bad to that.
Now...... was a mistake?
Was a missunderstanding?
Did I choosed wrong?
Nahhhhhhhhhhh, lol
So, what really happened, and why.
The client that panic was molested by his mother. He never shared that in group, and refuse to share that. The only person he shared it was to a psychologist whom told me.
I am his primary counselor, and I keep motivating him to share, and he refuses to share anything.
What I did is called “ transference”
I knew it that he would react when the other client was going to tell him about molestation.
I wanted a reaction.
Now lets see what is going to happen, and if that will make him share.
I am going to call him “ the lost boy”
going back to the topic ----- as a counselor we need to motivate clients to share secrets with their peers.
You need to understand that is a step 4 and 5 that has to be made with a sponsor.
We are not sponsors of our clients.
We are counselors, and counseling is more than NA or AA..