Men Group

Well, today i decided to do a men group. I was doing the morning group, and i was looking to these guys and wondering how they handle with their paranoias and insecurity with women.
I am the only counselor here, working with 17 clients, and from the 17 just 1 is a woman and another is gay.
I decided to let the other 15 men have a men group where they could share with each other about their sexuality.
Sexuality in recovery is very important, because is a very hard area in recovery.
Most of them have a hard time to deal with women, like women have a very hard time to deal with men.
After of “ I am in love “ things get complicate, and isn't a awareness why. Relationships in recovery can be very harmful, if clients don't understand what they have to work before it.
I know that NA/AA tells “ do not have a relationship in your first year”, but is that really important???
is that what will make them have healthy relationships????
so, what they need to look for?
What really needs to be resolved in the beginning?
What they have to deal with before “ a relationship”
i believe in treatment is very important for them to have men groups about sexuality.
I believe they can came together very healthy.
They can share their feelings about women, paranoia, insecurity, fantasies, insanity, even find out sexual deviant behavior.
More they share more comfortable they will be with women around. More genuine they will become, more sensitive to their needs and other needs they will become.
Of course i wasn´t in that group. I let the group run their own group, and have the privacy.
As a counselor woman i have to have boundaries, and to day was the case.
Now you ask me: why the gay guy didn't go????
because he wont identify with them.
I have to respect his sexuality, and place him where he feels comfortable “ women group”
Also is a way to protect them of the racist comments that men may have against him.
Anyway, the second part that clients need to look for is have the courage to look to their childhood.
More you look to your childhood and understand what happened to you, more able you are going to find yourself in a healthy relationship.
You need to understand where you are coming from in order to able to move on.
Understand your childhood.... don't stay there..... and move on!
If you don't grief your childhood, you are not be capable to have a healthy relationship.
You will be always the child, and you will never become the man!
Is also very important for women to be able to express their sexuality, and feel confortable with it.
If deviant, even like that, is important for both feel confortabel with it.
Acceptance, and expressing, and comunication is the key!