Hey Mr. Judge or something from Dallas county… U must be crazy!

Hey Mr. Judge or something from Dallas county… U must be crazy!
So TC no more….
A few months ago the directors informed us that we are not TC anymore. The reason was because someone on Dallas County decided that, because we were creating bad feelings to the clients.
At that day I didn’t have any opinion, because for me TC was new at that time, and I remember I dint understand the concept of TC. I even didn’t agree much with that. But that was 1 year ago, I was new, inexperience. My background dint has anything to do with TC, so for me was going back to my back ground, and I was ok with that, I guess…
Nahhhhhhhhhh, not anymore!
Look at here, are you serious??? With this population??? No TC???
The guy who changed that he may need to come here and work with them for 3 months.
So we have a population WHO LEARN on jail how to come here and do time.
We have a population that learns in jail what to say to the counselors.
The new fashion is : “ I was molested”
God forgive me, if I am been mean, but I am getting my doubts on this.
Here is what I think…. Molestation isn’t a very open thing to talk about.
Molestation creates shame, and guilty, and I have this vision that someone molested would take awhile to talk about it.
doesn’t happen with this population. The first thing they tell me is they were molested!
Is that true? Some I believe. Others I believe they were taught in jail to get counselors sympathy.
They learn in jail to abscond through Parkland. They learn through jail how to get pills.
We work with a population that 99% are not going to be in recovery.
This population has only one goal…does time, and the guy says that TC is bad?
Maybe in his world!!!
Oh I am mad and frustrated!
I was trying to figure out why I am so unmotivated.
I am tired! The clients now are all over doing all kind the criminal behaviors.
No one helps anyone. No sense of discipline, and rules.
No sense of training and changing behaviors.
Oh well…
This is not about them is about me… I am in a phase that I may need help.
I look at the clients at indv. Session and I think: “ why u r talking with me pretending that u want to be in recovery???”
Is this normal what I think now???
Before I would believe everyone, and I would try, and try… now, I don’t want trust them at all.
What the fuck is going on with me???
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost forgot!!!!
I went to American Idol Wilmer once, and I had this huge feeling that something was wrong!!!!
What I saw? I saw a some of the clients singing, and looking at the guys for 2 seconds while singing. Hummmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got a red light in my head… a big one!
So, once at the unit I started to asked them “ so, who is in love by now?”
They said: Miss Vale!!!!!! No one”
I said: right!
Last week or 2 weeks ago I saw a video of American idol. And what I see???
I see this black lady with 19 or something years old, singing Madonna!!!!!
Madonna!!!! And guess witch song??? “Crazy for you”
What?????????? What?????????????? Was she born when that song came out?
Why crazy for you from Madonna?
I thought: oh, she is in love” I said that lauder on the unit, and everyone laughs!
Today someone told me they were kissing during the trainings.
See once again, sex, drugs and rock and roll, and doing time.
They don’t get the concept of treatment.
In other day I asked to the new supervisor: do u think they are stupid, and dummy?”
Sometimes I get confuse!
I am sorry for my negativity, but something is going wrong in my head!
Or was the system, or was me who changed… I don’t know yet.